Simple Joys

Photo by Ryan Klaus on Unsplash

When I was twelve a woman I had grown particularly close to, my grandmother died. I felt internally bereft and walking around the farm I struggled to make sense of her leaving. There wasn’t a lot of discussion surrounding her passing, however, I do remember my father finding me, taking my hand and saying, “look up.” At that point, out of the many stars one seemed to stand out, sparkling a bit brighter and shimmering in the night sky far from city lights. He said, “there’s your grandmother.” It was so simple. Were we looking at the same star? A surge of warmth from my father’s hand, rippled through my hand up my arm and through my body. And I felt embraced in something akin to a flannel blanket while staring at that night sky. I re-claim that vision when someone close to me passes. It eases the loss and softens the pain because I know they are nearby just in a different form.

However, when large masses of people are killed the sadness overwhelms me whether in the United States or in other countries in conflicts we can’t begin to understand. The dancer in me trembles as my body harbors the sorrow straining under the ache of the collective grief rained upon us and the thought of so many souls floating up into space all at once.

Not to ignore the seriousness of inhuman acts and human sacrifices I have a collection of antidotes to ease my discomfort. Though they may seem elementary and even childlike they are the balm I use so that I can function in a world that is increasingly under siege with ongoing trauma, misdirected emotionality, bombastic behavior, audacious acts of greed, and unrelenting hatred.

You may find something in this collection that resonates with you to stimulate your creative space in addition to prayer or meditation.

1. Suck on frozen blueberries. Now these are not ordinary berries. They have been carefully selected and cultivated in my garden. Having grown plump in season and frozen to eat in the winter or at other times they are a special treat from nature. The round berry only needs to rest on the tongue for a few seconds before it flattens and the natural juices start to ease into my cheeks and down my throat in a subtle sweet delicacy. The key is to eat one berry at a time, savoring each tiny piece of fruit. In the process I become lifted into a state of gratitude for being granted another moment of life.

2. Drop into an improvisational dance. Find your internal rhythms or use a CD that generates an increased heart rate. Lately, I’ve been drawn to a Dan Fogelberg CD as an upbeat messenger. Allow yourself to be guided into moving from the inside out using the words to elicit emotions, encouraging a change in form from stuck and static states of helplessness to expansiveness. It’s like creating a new mantle of selfhood through movement that doesn’t need to be remembered but for just a few moments facilitates an energy release through your own internal mechanism that is intimate and personal.

3. Knit or crochet something soft and beautiful. This activity does not require hours but does call for total concentration, a simple knit/purl stitch will do the trick. Don’t let the mind wander, stay with it long enough to release physical tension, irrational emotions, and mental anguish while focusing on the texture and softness of the yarn. Simplicity and treasured focus is essential. This is not the time to pull out the cardigan you’ve been working on for six months! Another idea in the craft arena is to make potholders. You know the ones made with the metal loom from childhood. You can now purchase brightly colored loops: oranges, brilliantly rich shades of blues and greens, reds, yellows, etc. You are only limited by your imagination in terms of color combinations and time necessary to complete one. And if you happen to be on a roll make several and give them away.

4. Do some poetry. If you don’t have your own there are always lines from Rumi, Rilke or Hafiz to have at your disposal and to carry in your heart. To get you started here are a few lines from Brian Christopher Brennan’s “Stardust’s Symphony” to get you started:

In the realm where stars ignite / Where galaxies twinkle in the night / There exists a love profound and vast / A love that forever will eternally last. / It knows no boundaries this love divine / Beyond the realms of space and time / It weaves through the tapestry of existence / Unraveling hearts dispelling resistance.

5. Constructive Rest. You may be familiar with this position if you’ve studied yoga or Pilates. I was first introduced to constructive rest many years ago while studying the Alexander Technique. It’s an invaluable position of rest and relaxation outside those methods. Lay on the floor on your back, knees bent hip width apart and feet flat on the floor. Allow your arms to rest on the floor on either side of your body, fingertips long. You may need support underneath your head. It is important to maintain the natural curves of the spine. The sensation of effortlessly melting into the floor as you breathe is comforting and satisfying. It’s a perfect opportunity to get into your body. Ten-twenty minutes will be enough of a reward for you to want to return to the position often during the day.

These simple joys are just a handful of my antidotes for despair. Bear in mind that these activities are by no means an attempt to ignore the realities of what is happening all around us, but a way to care for ourselves by raising our frequencies. In a way we are doing our part to ease the suffering in the world by engaging in calm deliberate actions, free of worry and fear. They may not have any direct affect on the issues of the geopolitical scene, but they do change how we behave and interact in our communities, which affects the whole. This is not mere merry-making.

You probably have some despair busters of your own.

They are the kinds of things that make your soul sing, delight the heart, and well, calm your nervous system. And then you can respond to world events or personal chaos with a clear head, informed mind, and wise decision-making.