Our Time in Timelessness

Photo by Rene Muller on Unsplash

For everything there is a season . . . everything suitable for its time.— Ecclesiastes 3:1,11

For weeks now, I’ve been engaged in a project that I thought would take only a few hours and is still going on. I call it “the LOFT Project.” This is the first time in my adult life in which I’ve lived in the same place for more than four years. The accumulation of 25 years of stuff has turned out to be both burdensome and revelatory. The fact that at some level the decision was made to stow away all the old and useless stuff to some dark part of the house is even more interesting, as I don’t think it was meant to be that way.

As time passed and acquiring the winding staircase to solitude became more distant, climbing a ladder to put a collection of unused objects away turned into an exhaustive task. The distant ascents became fewer and no one wanted to do it much less pack, put things into boxes and carry these useless objects to a place no one would ever think to look or even be curious about, not even us.

So what does one do with push button phones, portable TVs, cables to who knows what, outdated computers and printers, notebooks and reams of paper from acquiring knowledge, photographs of award ceremonies, special events, etc.? What’s that saying, “you can’t take it with you”? No kidding, but why was so much of it kept in the first place? What does acquisition have to do with living?

If you’ve ever done anything of this sort, you know that my work is cut out for me in the weeks ahead. Because it’s not just about clearing out the loft, there is so much more going on—it’s a purification process. While in some cases it’s an attempt to uncover some deeper recesses of personal growth and an opportunity to discover what’s next; from another angle to use a scalpel and microscope to determine what got by-passed in the accumulation process is another aspect of the exploration. As I drift through reasons, justifications, and attachments in search for the meaning behind some aggressive learning endeavors, the clearing out has developed into a number of piles.

The piles acquired different levels of importance. The easiest are the papers that merely need to be burned, there is no need to keep them. The book pile got divided between those to be given away so others might find joy in holding an unscathed hardback book on dance (that’s mostly what they are) or sold, with a handful to be read again. And then there is the ethical disposal pile of irreparable devices— flat screen TVs, portable televisions, small appliances. There is the stack of posters that got framed (why?) to serve as art work on walls—with less wall space some got placed in the unseen space. And finally, luggage that won’t be used again due to flight regulations and now, it’s a wonder we dragged those cumbersome holding pieces of still more stuff with us this far given the convenience of compact travel gear with wheels to drag along behind us. If travel rises to a level of importance in my life, it’s almost certain a new collection will be needed to comply with airlines regulations.

There was really no need to keep all that stuff. The sheer fact that I was attached to so much of it and couldn’t let go of more of those things before relocating is mind-boggling. For long ago, I had dedicated myself to a life of simplicity sometimes out of circumstances, but more often personal choice. I’ve just never cared for having a lot of things around me, it encroached on my solitude. And yet here I was having fallen into the accumulation trap, unconsciously and needing to free myself of the collection. I can appreciate this quote by Byron Katie:

Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. You don’t have to like it…it’s just easier if you do.

I hadn’t considered that this project would take up so much of my time. Dare I say, the lighter weight work is yet to come. You know, clearing out the kitchen cabinets, drawers, and closets on the lower levels, which has happened with more regularity. But even so, I feel as if I’ve accomplished a lot just by taking on the task in the first place.

I think the most important part of the exercise in freeing myself of the hidden stuff is acknowledging the unprocessed emotional attachment to the stored things. That was stuck energy, pure and simple. It wasn’t until I had reached a point of frustration in which it would take an act of God to put an 12 foot ladder in place, climb into a space— in which I had to maintain a compact position— rummage through what could be officially called ‘junk’ and, deciding I needed closure to some of what led to the acquisition in the first place that an internal shift occurred. It required taking the necessary time, energy, and courage to focus on eliminating lots and lots of stuff from my life not just externally.

And perhaps the Loft Project is a way of literally celebrating my life and leaning into enjoy living in the moment allowing for engagement in a whole new journey. To be in the moment and not have to acquire or save anything from the past, but to delight in what I have now is really quite liberating. Given the number of years it has taken in collecting, storing, sorting, and clearing to make visible what is really important and dispensing with all that is unneeded has been cathartic.

Freeing myself from the plague of accumulation took a decision to be clearer about my life and intentional about what the next chapter might hold, unscripted and uncertain. Grounded in spaciousness, the letting go was intense and emotion-ridden, but it was also redemptive. Suppressed feelings got integrated into my nervous system. The knowledge acquired stored in the crevices of my mind is easily accessible. And creativity is bubbling up.

I don’t feel compelled to please, submit to, or acknowledge anyone in any particular way, except respectfully. As I carve out new vistas of my life’s expression, I don’t need anything but what I already have; what an amazing testament to being enough of who I am for myself and those around me.

We all have that capacity and it may not require the time and physical work of clearing out your loft space, it may just require your intention of declaring who you truly are and living into that! Stepping out from your inner authority—seeing without blinders and participating in the knowing:

The whole earth is filled with God’s glory. —Josh Seligman

And living authentically in the time given us is living in timeless spaciousness— simultaneously.